1. Easy Parking
How is it possible that in the busiest of cities, during rush hour, people are always able to find a parking spot right outside of the building they need to get to?
They don't need to worry about parallel parking, angry drivers behind them trying to get around, or worry that they can't find any change for the parking meter. If only this one was true in real life.
2. Deep Conversations In The Car
While we're on the note of car-related cliches, how about the one where the driver can talk forever to their passenger? Does anyone else get anxious that a car accident will occur?
If two people are able to talk about something as deep as divorce, the world ending, or anything else heavy while operating a moving vehicle and not making eye-contact with the road, then power to them!
3. Shocked The Morning After
How many times does a hung-over guy or gal wake up to look next to them and find last night's fling there, and look surprised and/or disappointed? How much did they drink to feel that way?
They should know based on feeling someone else lay on a bed super close to them, hearing them breathe, or even snore. It's not a shocker that there's someone next to you -- you don't need to look.
4. Easy Breakfast
How does a mom have a perfect, hotel breakfast-level spread ready to go at 7am every morning? Where does she find time to create such an amazing meal while still looking totally fresh?
Why can't movies show the gloom of what breakfast really consists of: running around, rushing to get to the bus, eating a lukewarm poptart that's full of sugar and no other nutrients...that sort of stuff?
5. The Phone Is Always Fully Charged
We will never see a character struggle to charger their phone, or have to wait to get somewhere because they need to wait until they're at least on thirty percent.
They don't even have to carry around those chunky, overheating portable chargers. They're just always ready to go with a fully charged phone. We know it's not a superpower, but we'd love to have that ability to be worry-free about a dead battery.
6. Mistmatched Lifestyle
How much is every coffee barista making that they're able to do that as their only job, and afford a crazy-cool, spacious apartment? Can a character have 2-3 jobs and work weekends just to make us feel a bit better?
We know that it's physically not possible to rent a one bedroom in Manhattan for anything less than a couple grand, so unless they're working 48 hours a day, it's a total cliche.
7. Birthing Scenes
Let's talk about how easy women make it look to give birth on the screen. Some labor takes literal days! Where is all the screaming, the crying, the pooping, and wishing you never had sex?
Plus, how do the women always have a full face of makeup on before and after the birth? It sets an extremely high expectation for real-life births. If Mila Kunis can push one out in five minutes without a sweat, where does that leave us?
8. Teachers That Never Finish On Time
Every teacher is automatically interrupted by a loud bell that signals the end of class. They can never finish the lesson on-time, they're always rushing to finish up their thoughts.
These teachers just have to announce the homework and the next test when the bell chimes -- not just writing it on the chalkboard like every other teacher does in real life -- or posts it in their online learning platforms. As if!
9. Easy Makeovers
The nerdy girl with curly hair and acne only has to stop hiding her face in books and just wash her hair a bit more often to get noticed by the hottest guys in the school...how many movies just came to mind?
Honestly -- getting rid of acne can be a year long journey. And finding the right products for specific hair types takes time. If only it was so easy to have such a fast transformation.
10. Never Checking If The Door Is Locked
A lot of times, characters just exit their house without locking their door, or pulling down on the handle to make sure it's shut. So what, you just live in a big fancy house and don't worry about intruders?
Most people in real life double check their doors, and even turn back around in the car to triple check if they're really concerned. Or maybe they check their security cameras during the day at work. Where is all of this in the movies?
11. It's Not What It Looks Like
Why are two characters that are always found in a compromising position doing something innocent jump to the phrase: "It's not what it looks like"? Why not just explain what you were actually doing?
Out of everything they could say -- even their simple explanation -- they choose the sketchiest phrase they can find. The truth will set you free. "It's not what it looks like" won't. Who even says this in real life?
12. No Need For An ATM
Every movie characters' wallet is always full and not falling apart. They never need to stop at an ATM to take out cash, or forget their credit card at home, or have the wallet coming apart at the seams.
As the years pass, more and more real people just pay for stuff with their phone, or watch, or whatever other device they have. Why don't we see Brad Pitt paying for cigarettes with his new fitness tracker?
13. The Empty Coffee Cup
Any police sheriff, investigator, teacher, parent, you name it, always has a coffee cup that they sip from, or wave in the air, but never spill or break. How can you use the coffee cup for dramatic effect and not spill the liquid?
Coffee stains are probably one of the most common clothing stains in the world, so why are the characters' clothes so immaculate? Why can't they get a little messy like the rest of us?
14. Explain Yourself
Imagine: the target is running away from the villain. The villain is gaining on the target. Before the villain strikes, he explains his motive to his new victim -- he is jealous or angry from something that happened years ago.
Why does the killer always explain his motive before he kills? Isn't he afraid of getting caught, or not being able to be in control of the situation any longer? Why is he always stalling?
15. Perfectly Breezy Hair
We often see the female protagonist in the car, driving somewhere on a long journey, listening to some hipster music while the window is open and the breeze gently blows her hair around.
Instead of a windy mess that leaves her hair in knots and bugs in her face, she looks like a model just driving down the freeway. The only way most women can drive with the window down is while wearing a ponytail.
16. The Empty Phone
Notice that whenever someone recieves a text from a close friend or family, that message is always the beginning of the conversation. There are no previous conversations, no answers, no emojis.
Do these characters just delete every conversation when it's over? Why don't they talk to these close people more often? It would be interesting to see the previous texts.
17. No Need For Backup
This cliche is true for any crime or horror movie. Instead of calling the police or a friend, whenever a character hears a noise or thinks there's someone in their home or basement, they go after it alone.
That's what neighbors are for, people! If there's an intruder, or something lurking, go get someone to look with you, or better yet, look without you. What are you trying to gain here?
18. Who Needs Food Anyway?
Why don't people ever finish their meals on the screen? These characters have been running around from place to place, dealing with some sort of drama, they must be hungry!
We'll never see Dakota Johnson finish her food, or even look like she's really enjoying what looks to be a fantastic meal. She'll just take a few bites and be done. At least ask for a take-away box!
19. An Easy Coffee
Where are the elaborate coffee orders at? We all know a millenial actress won't just order a plain "coffee." She'll at least sub out the milk for oat milk, or almond milk, or any other non-dairy substance.
No pumps of caramel? No iced coffee? Just plain old coffee? Unless they're in a diner, they're not ordering a plain coffee. These writers need to get a bit more creative.
20. No One Remembers Phone Numbers
In the age of cell phones, no one needs to remember their friend's phone number. They just ask Siri to call them. So how do people suddenly remember all their contacts' phone numbers when they're in a dire need?
Regardless, there will always be an emergency phone booth at a gas station in the middle of nowhere that the character will use to call someone whose number they memorized without needing a phone book. Do those even exist anymore?
21. Speedy Internet
Only now is the world being introduced to 5G...so how are the computers and phones in movies always so fast? They never have to worry about buffer time for streaming, or loading a dense shopping page.
Characters never need to restart their computers when they're acting up, or quit applications. Everything is just instant and smooth, as if they've been using 5G in Hollywood for forever.
22. Sitting Up From a Nightmare
Yes, a character is having a crazy terrible nightmare about something they're worrying about, and when they suddenly wake up from it they shoot right up and gasp!
Many people just wake up while still laying down and just trying to get their bearings and making sure they're awake. There's usually a little bit of sweat involved. No exciting gasp.
23. Driving Without A GPS
In real life, people put on their GPS (or maps, or Waze, whatever you want to call it) even if they know how to get where they're going. They want to see the traffic or if there are any accidents along the way.
On the other hand, movie characters always seem to know exactly where they're going, even if they've never been there before. They don't bother to take out their phone and enter their destination. They have it in their mind already.
24. No Clean Up Needed
After two characters "do it" neither one of them has to clean themselves or get up to pee. They just fall asleep softly, or one runs out the door. Either way, there's no chance to do what real humans do.
This doesn't seem real or cordial, and similar to the birthing scenes, creates false and high expectations for both parties involved. Life is messy, so an extra shot dedicated to cleaning won't do so much harm.
25. Throwing Pebbles
Throwing pebbles at window makes noise, so why are sneaky characters doing it and getting away with it? Also, how do the windows not break? Where are these hopeless romantics finding perfectly sized pebbles?
Along those lines, how are kids always able to climb two or three stories via a tree and get into the house of their crush? Suddenly high schoolers know parkour.
26. I'll Pick You Up At Eight
Guy meets girl. Guy flatters girl. Guy asks girl out. Girl says yes. Guy says "I'll pick you up at eight" and no other information is exchanged. Girl doesn't give her address or anything.
How is the guy always able to get to her home, without a GPS, without her telling him, and still not be seen as a total creep? And why are girls saying yes to being picked up by a total stranger?
27. Always Room On The Flight
"I need the first flight to New York!" shouts character. They somehow not only get an amazing window seat, but sometimes first class treatment as well. If it's a popular destination, it's even more mind boggling.
And somehow yet, the flight leaves very soon but the character is able to make it all the way through security and to the gate on time without being turned away.
28. Unlimited Vacation Days
Yes, while some companies offer unlimited vacation days as a real perk, it seems like every movie character has that benefit. They are able to take month long vacations at a moment's notice.
They never have to worry about work calls, or assign projects to other people. And many of them seem to have very important jobs, unless they can pay for the vacation with a trust fund...
29. Sneezes
No one ever sneezes during their conversations. They could be in a moldy hotel, a dusty desert, or just have allergies to dogs but they will never sneeze -- or cough.
When is a conversation so flawless that there's no bodily interruptions? Just once would it be so bad to hear someone sound nasaly when they're not supposed to be sick in the storyline?
30. Always Around
Even in the biggest of cities, somehow the protagonists and antagonists are in same exact place, allowing the antagonist to gain powerful information that the protagonists are sharing.
The odds of going somewhere safe or private to talk in a city as large as New York or Singapore and not run into anyone you know or that can harm you is pretty large.
31. No Cyberstalking
The first thing we do when we date someone new is stalk them on every social media platform and website possible. Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, heck, maybe even LinkedIn.
So how do so many people keep getting surprised by who their latest significant other is in movies?! They have all the resources to find out any detail, so use it!
32. Everyone Has Perfect Aim
It doesn't matter if they haven't had professional training, or never even shot a gun once nor had a reason to: anyone who needs to shoot a gun in a movie is incredibly accurate with their aim.
Shooting a gun seems easy, but having perfect aim is a different story. It requires hours of practice, patience, and a good instructor. So why is everyone able to hit their target on their first shot?
33. The Baguette
This type of bread is always poking out of bags in movies. Why? Because once we see a baguette sticking out of a bag, we know the bag is groceries and don't pay any mind to it.
French bread is also one of the best props in movies because it retains its structure and look under hot studio lights and after long shooting hours. This bread certainly is a star.
34. The Wedding Cake Fall
Any rom com that features a tense wedding always ends up with someone destorying the wedding cake. Interestingly enough, wedding cakes have recently become just for show -- many being made out of craft materials.
Also, wedding cakes these days are less presumptious and grandiose than our parents' wedding cakes. Instead of fluffy, tall, piped cakes, today we serve naked cakes (barely frosted) or cakes made out of other desserts.
35. When In Paris...
Whenever a character flies to Paris, you can always see the Eiffel Tower from their apartment/hotel room or whichever restaurant they're sitting at. Otherwise, are they even in Paris if you don't see the famous landmark?
Yes, even in animated films too. If the accent, music, and fashion in the film isn't enough, at least the brightly light building with seal the deal with putting you in the right location.
36. Underwater? No Problem
Regardless of their athleticism, movie characters are able to hold their breath under water for as long as they need to get something done -- find a piece of jewelry, save a friend, etc.
They don't need to come up for air or anything...they can just continue being superhuman even if the film is a romantic comedy. Absolutely fine, just keep swimming!
37. Dentistry in the 1800's
Fake teeth aren't that hard to fabricate. But somehow in historical films, most characters have perfect teeth. Not only are they straight, but they are pearly white too, with no wine stains!
We don't believe that they knew about Crest Whitestrips, charcoal toothpaste or Invisalign and braces back in those days. But we will play along just for the plot and believable wardrobe.
38. Mean Blondes
Ever notice in any high school or college movie, the mean girl is always blonde? Mean Girls, High School Musical, The Heathers, Devil Wears Prada..the list goes on.
We know the saying "Blondes Have More Fun" but are blondes also the biggest bullies? Do they let the color go to their head? Even male villians are often blonde (Hello Draco Malfoy).
39. Knocked Unconscious...for a minute
Apparently, getting knocked unconscious doesn't do much damage. It's like a very quick powernap for victims of a big punch of car accident. Forget about bleeding, memory loss, or brain damage.
During the time you're out cold, you can either quickly come to your senses by someone pouring cold water on you, or be dragged and strapped into some chair in a lab by the villain. Go figure.
40. Trapped On An Island, Looking Fine
If an actress is trapped on an island with none of her belongings, how does her hair look so good -- no bedhead or leaves stuck in there or anything? How is her skin still flawless? Wouldn't she have stress pimples?
The element of realism is lost when characters still look great without and products or tools around for their disposal. It's 2021, we think the makeup department can take a break for these films.